Eyeliner that just won't quit

I have seen a LOT of crazy bus people, and it’s been some time since I bothered to whip out the sneaky camera phone to get a photo of one.

Yesterday I saw a classic crazy cat lady- shopping cart with a mangey black cat atop it, stringy hair, cigarette drooping out of her mouth… but that was out of a speeding car window on the way home, so I didn’t have the chance to document it. This epic crazy however, I did. She was talking to HER DAD who was (clearly) not there, and seemed to be totally in her own world. She was expressive, and jovial, but only to this invisible person- until her neck snapped up, she made eye contact with this guy who’d just gotten on the bus, and for a mere moment she seemed totally un-crazy.

 “Hi!” she said, almost excitedly 

“Hello,” he replied —-

“How are you doin’ today?” she asked

“Fine, how are you?” and then her eyes sort of glazed over and the schitzophrenic babble started up again, only this time it was aimed at someone real.

Oh, this poor man. He was in his late twenties or early thirties, hipstery beard, newsboy hat, not totally uncute, but not remarkable. Anyway, for some reason she just SNAPPED out of this removed state and into a much more involved, outgoing sort of lunacy. She started telling him about how she hated dating, and she just wanted to “wake up next to somebody, you know?”, implying that she wanted all the familiarity of a comfortable relationship- not an unreasonable desire. But then she started sort of… fluxuating- between talking to him and to her invisible father, and a bit to herself as well, it became difficult to tell.

Clearly, she was trying to flirt with this much younger man, who was totally dumbfounded by the attention, and did nothing to egg her on beyond the cursory smile and nod. It became a little pathetic and akward pretty quickly when it became apparent she was trying to hint that he should meet up with her later (describing in detail where she would be throughout the day) and I felt kinda bad for the guy, but it was so hillarious my pity was totally overwhelmed by amusement.

She was saying "That's just how I am!" But I don't remember the context... It was about disliking dating but wanting a comfortable relationship, I do remember that.

I got several really great photos of her, but they were all using my phones shabby zoom lens, so you’ll have to forgive their pixelated ickiness. If I can ever afford a fancier camera-phone I promise to take better people-pics.

Check out the awesome jewelry. I think maybe she was an aging goth or punk or something. She looked (IRL) like she was in her mid-late 50s, or even early 60s- quite a bit of white hair too- but she was dressed like a disaffected 16 year old.

Anyway, the whole thing was pretty funny, and made me miss the fact that I don’t ride the bus every morning anymore. Of COURSE I much prefer getting a ride, but stuff like this doesn’t light up my morning on days I am chauffered to work, and that’s kinda too bad.
The bus can be pretty stuffy and smelly and crowded and loud and obnoxious and icky, but when this kind of thing happens it really makes it all worthwhile.

Yep, it's official, no one wants to sit next to the lady who talks loudly to her invisible dad.