Yeah, ok, I know it’s not all me- but I sure feel like one. I know I’m only going to get more ungainly, but it’s an interesting process. Bending over has become something of a hassle, and climbing stairs is almost too tall an order to bother with. It’s to be expected, and I’m certainly not bitching- the majority of women on planet earth go through this, and it’s really nothing special, but to be the one for whom shoe application and removal had better be a no-hands operation is an entirely new perspective. I kind of assumed it would be like this (I didn’t assume the shortness of breath, though!), and I take a certain amount of pleasure in knowing this is a very temporary condition. 

I’m at 20 weeks now, halfway there. 

I received the first few goodies from my baby registry over the weekend, and it was inordinately thrilling! 

cry-hole plugs

  I got a diaper champ (Woo-Hoooooo! Less baby stink for me!), a couple board books (indestructable books!!!), a couple pacifiers (cry-hole plugs), and a really REALLY great diaper bag. Highly practical gifts that are both relatively inexpensive and USEFUL.

So far what I’ve gotten has been from Hunter’s mom (thanks mom2)- which was a really pleasant surprise- I no longer have a mother to lavish gifts on me, and it’s so, SO nice to have an in-law mom do it instead- it made me feel really loved and fuzzy and gooshy!!!

 Getting it in the mail was an added treat- I didn’t even know they were coming. I LOVE getting shit in the mail. Well, not SHIT, but stuff- stuff that’s not excrement- you know what I mean. 

I’ve gotten some stuff, however, that (although very welcome and totally rockin cool) serves very little purpose- or at least, seems to serve very little purpose. I’m certain that when the time comes, I will find the 3,000 onsies I’ve collected to be very useful indeed, even if my collection does seem excessive at this point. 

The one gift I keep going back to over and over in my mind is the “Graco Sweetpeace Newborn Soothing Center”, or as I like to call it, the “Hypno-Baby 3000”. 

The Hypnobaby 3000, for all your trance-inducing needs

http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/demos/sweetpeace/index_resize.html  That right there is a link to the totally amazing interactive video that talks all about the wonderments of this contraption. Originally, it retailed at about 300 bucks, but it’s about 150 now, depending on where you go- not that I would EVER buy such an absurd thing- but now that I have it, I get the feeling it’s going to be invaluable. What an awesome gift. It was used by a friend’s baby, and she sang it’s praises, but her offspring is too large and wormy for it now. Too bad for her, great for me! I ❤ hand-me-downs! 

I have decided that I would like almost nothing better than to get a grownup sized one of these. It swooshes back and forth as though you are being rocked by a pair of mechanical arms, with six different settings, it sings to you, it vibrates, it’s adjustable in every possible way…it may as well be your goddamned mommy. 

It’s just NOT FAIR that babies get these and we don’t. Why the hell hasn’t someone made a full sized mechanical hypno-center? And if they have, why don’t I have one?! I imagine it would make SOME people seasick, but I can tell you right now it would send me plummeting into the sweet, soft abyss of sleep in mere seconds. 

Again- this is not something I would have ever asked for or purchased. I’m a very practical lady. I want glass bottles and bra extenders, diaper fasteners (no more baby safety pins on amazon, whut?) and electrical socket covers…. but now that I have it, I can only be thrilled, and ultimately jealous. I have one LUCKY little baby cooking in my womb. 

In garden news, my grape vines are beginning to bud (Squee!!!) and just about everything I’ve direct seeded has sprouted and is looking great. There are chard, herbs, radishes, arugula, carrots, peas, and god knows what else that’s beginning to nudge their way out of the ground. I can barely contain my exitement, though I know that vegetable gardening is a true excersize in patience. It will grow no faster if I’m giddy- but still, I am. 

Pix as soon as they start looking cool!

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